Broken...................

I do feel broken. In so many ways. I can't even explain it. It's 1:15am and I have a paper due today. The only thing I have accomplished on it is the title page. I am second guessing whether I understand the instructions for it or not. This prof. has left me second guessing everything. I have asked and asked for clarification. I guess I will just write and see what happens. I can totally see my 4.0 slipping away. I guess it's true though, nothing can last forever. All I can do is my best, and when that isn't good enough I can just be angry with myself, learn from it and move on. So many things on my mind lately that I can't even concentrate. The services for R. are tomorrow evening, so I need to get this paper done asap since I wont have tomorrow evening to work on it. I am still in such shock over his passing. I have been praying for his family and everyone that knew and loved him. I have been praying for Tatem, because she is still so young, and she loved her Papa so much. I am just so lost, broken and confused. I guess I better go and try again and again to get this paper done. I pray that I get a good grade on it, but sadly this time I don't think that's going to be the case.

There's so much more I want to say, but I have to hold it back. I hate this feeling, ..feeling like I can't truly talk about everything. Oh well...such as life. My brothers, dad and Matt all seem to live by the motto ...just get over it. So whatever happens today..I guess I'll just GET over it.