Why bother?

I feel like writing out a whole long post, pouring my feelings out here because I cannot let them out anywhere else without people thinking I'm selfish, spoiled, bratty etc. Then again I think to myself...why bother writing them out anywhere? Does anyone really care? Would letting everything out change anything? The answer is no, it would not change anything. I am so tired of keeping things in, so tired of walking on eggshells so that I don't upset everyone else. I am so tired of not knowing who I am anymore. Just plain tired of everything. I used to pray that I would wake to another beautiful day on Earth. Now when I wake..I think..."oh, another day..to get through." I don't want to just "get through" each day. I want to be able to enjoy life. I have tried to be strong, I have tried to be positive, I am simply tired of trying. My give a damn is busted. I guess I am letting my emotions and thoughts out here..and anyone reading this will just assume I am being a whiny brat, so I will go. I probably won't be back again until I am truly happy, or until I can at least fake some sense of happiness.