Self Perception

I haven't written in a few days so I just thought I'd drop in and post. This past week in school we had to write a self perception. As I sat writing mine, I realized a lot of things about myself. Then I became confused. It's really true the more you think about something, the more confused you can become. The realization I had about myself made me start thinking about the things I can work on. Made me think about the things I need to change. It was kind of embarrassing to share with my classmates how I really view myself, but as I said to another classmate it almost seemed theraputic and I think I really needed it. When was the last time you took a good look at yourself, and how you view yourself? I am really nothing more than a small girl, trembling in a corner, longing to be held and praised. I tend to shy away from large crowds, or compliments. I have a hard time believing people when they say nice things about me, or to me. Also I have always been afraid to be confident or show confidence or pride. I am this way, because I have been taught to beleive that if you act too prideful or confident you will jinx yourself and bad things will happen. It has been my experience in life, when I am happy and things are going well, and I finally smile, the world crashes around me. I guess you could say that I am slightly shell shocked. I love Matt to death, and he compliments me a lot, but I'm always left wondering if the words are just empty. He assures me they are not, but I am still working on accepting the fact that I may be pretty, funny, or smart.

Okay well enough of my rambling.