What does it take?

What does it take to obtain comments these days? What should I be writing about? If there is something specific you would like to hear me address please let me know. I would really like to connect with the readers of my blog, as I feel I must be totally missing the mark. So many entries with very few or no comments. I find it rather discouraging.

Twenty Six is the number of....

I cannot believe I turned twenty six yesterday. I had so many plans, so many things to do before I turned twenty five and now that I am another year older I have realized none of those things were accomplished. I am thankful for every year I have on this Earth, but I am growing more depressed at the things I haven't achieved. I wish I could freeze frame at this age and not have another birthday until I had my life straightened out. I feel like so much time has gone by, so many opportunities have been missed. I can feel the dust settling around me, and I want so badly to break away...to shake it off. So the years have gone by..and so many things still haven't changed.

Just some tickers to help me get through

Shit Storm

So it has been over a month now since the shit storm of drama that caused me to turn my blog private. A few days ago I decided to make it invite only...but seriously this fucking sucks. Even those that have accepted my invite aren't reading..which means I am literally sitting here writing for my own fucking amusement. I do not need to write my thoughts out...I hear them all day long inside my head. I really want to make my blog public again.  I want to go back to certain websites. I am tired of keeping everything private and feeling like I have to hide...to keep myself locked up in certain parts of the interweb..just because a future shit storm might erupt. So..what do I do...? Do I make my blog public again and run the risk of being accused of giving people info? Should I just leave it invite only? Do I just delete my blog all together and say fuck it? Since no one reads it anymore..should I even give two fucks?

Help me out here

I am needing money as always...I am behind on my electric bill and now I have a leak at my bathtub that needs to be addressed ASAP. So I am selling my Wii to get the cash I need. Even if you do not need or want a Wii..maybe you know someone who would be interested. So please pass the word along. Here are the details. Please get a hold of me if you or anyone you know is interested. Don't hesitate to get in touch with me day or night. Here is the info. We are asking $400 but definitely willing to take offers.

Black Nintendo Wii
2 Black Wii Motion Plus Controllers with nunchucks
1 Wii Classic Controller
The Legend of Zelda-Twilight Princess
New Super Mario Bros
Wii Sports & Wii Sports Resort

Games downloaded from the Wii Store are as follows-
The Legend of Zelda (Nes)
Zelda II- The Adventures of Link (Nes)
The Legend of Zelda- A Link to the Past (Snes)
The Legend of Zelda-Ocarina of Time (N64)
The Legend of Zelda- Majora's Mask (N64)

Comes with original box and motion bar
480p video cables and original cables

How long am I....

supposed to hang on? How long am I supposed to wait? How do I keep hanging on? Everyone keeps telling me that things will get better, that something great will come along. I am starting to lose hope, things have been so rough for so long. I don't know how I've held on this long & I don't know how much longer I can hold on. The lack of income is the biggest issue. We have been without income for so long that we are in debt with so many creditors & we have been through a failed bankruptcy because obviously without income we weren't able to pay the monthly bankruptcy payments. We have had two foreclosures on the house and some how we are still here. We live in fear every day that we could get word that they are taking the house because we haven't been able to make a payment in ages. We never know where our next dollar is coming from. I have bills due next week that I cannot pay, and soon they will shut off all services. I am so tired of my life being like this, so tired of everything being up in the air. I do not know what it's like to be truly happy or carefree anymore. Anytime something good happens I am always waiting for the next shoe to drop. I don't want to die, but honestly I am  tired of simply existing. I want to live. I want to be able to pay my bills, and know that I will have food, I want to know that I am not running the risk of being homeless any day. I just do not know what to do anymore, I don't know how to handle it all. I don't know why I am writing this. No one leaves comments, so I doubt anyone even reads my blog. I guess I just want to get these feelings out, maybe putting them here will help take some of the weight off.

I am......

Lately I have been feeling such a mix of emotions that I cannot even begin to describe it. To say I am simply confused does not convey the turmoil I feel inside. I want so many things out of life, and I want to do so many things with my life for others. My problem lies with the fact of not knowing how to go about achieving any of the things I want. I find myself with so many dreams, and I am frustrated because I have no idea what steps to take to reach those dreams. I am so tired of being poor and feeling like a failure that every day I find myself so depressed that I cannot motivate myself to do much more that the usual chores and classwork that is due that day. How do you all figure out what to do in order to achieve your goals? I need advice. I feel like the walls that have closed in are crumbling and the weight of the debris is simply burying me.